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You have not failed me

Sitting here with you.

Intense wanting arising from the body.

„I so want a baby.“

Every month another disappointment.

Month after month, year after year.

You whisper into my inner ears:

“I am sorry that I have failed you.“

Tears streaming down my face.

“Thank you for having tried so hard to fulfil my longings.“

“I just wanted to bring you happiness and I am sorry I have failed to bring that to you.“

Total defeat is here.

„I am just so tired of wanting something that’s not here.“

I whisper: 

It’s safe to surrender.

Lay your head down.

Lay on the earth.

Plant yourself firmly.

Into the softness of my ground. 

My body.

Come home.

Surrender into me. As me.

The energy of wanting starts to give way.

Waves of deep relaxation softening the body.

Surrender sweet one.

Your surrender allows my rising. 

Allows the spreading of my light throughout my body.

Bathing every molecule in sweetness. 

In softness. 

Thank you for giving space.

To be me.

This deep relaxation is what I have always truly ever wanted. 

Just to be myself.

To be this love.

Pure contentment felt in every cell.

You have not failed me.

Returning myself back to me.

I got to be who I am because of you. 

Your failure is my success. 

Thank you for squeezing all this beautiful nectar out of me.

As all wanting is turned inwards and

planted deeply into my body and earth.

You turn into a tidal wave of liberation

Flowing, melting and softening every fibre of my being.

You have not failed me. 

You have delivered me.